Here are some ideas based on years of photographing weddings of various religions and denominations including traditional Chinese, Indian, Jewish, Reform, Orthodox, Conservative, Catholic, Protestant, and Muslim. Weddings in hotels, tents, on the beach and on yachts.

For a long time I have been thinking about this ‘manifest’ but I did not want to sound like Mrs. Know It All. However, I have come to the conclusion that brides are looking for a few guidelines in their choice of dress, shoes, hair, make-up and other wedding accessories. Since my job is about composing shape and motion in a suitable light to create a beautiful image, I may have some helpful contributions and advice to add to the process of your preparation for the big day.

Let’s Start with the Dress:
I am tempted to say that the dress should above all be comfortable, But honestly the most important is that is that it will be beautiful and complimentary to your graceful attributes emphasizing the beautiful curves and feminine lines of your body. It should posse feminine lines meaning no harsh square or V lines. Go for round lines. If you have a nice neck then definitely expose it to some extent but always think of coming across elegant and classy.

If you have a nice waist line, do not rush to hide it with a dress that starts to part under the bust line, rather let it embrace your waist. Beautiful lines should be accentuated rather than concealed. Your decision to have an A line shaped dress of less puffy ( like an evening gown ) look is really a matter of your preference. However, avoid a boxy look. A boxy look is caused by lack of angles or shape differentiations.

This year and last year’s most popular dress style has been strap-less. Well, here is my honest opinion: If you are a voluptuous then, No Problem. But if this is not the case, then a strapless dress will emphasize deficiency of curves and even more. Truthfully, I have been struggling with this issue all of my life so I know that this is something that I should avoid. Additionally strapless tends to sort of slip down especially during the reception when you are busy dancing so you may want to prepare for an option of two spaghetti strips that will hold it in place so you are not occupied in lifting it constantly.

The Dress’ Color
White tends to make us look larger than we are as opposed , for instance, to black or any other color. SO if you are very skinny any shades of white will work. If however, you are a bit larger and are concerned about your size, then go with the off whites.

The Shoes
The shoes should be comfortable. When you come to think of it they are hardly noticeable during the wedding at all. The simply serve as items that are being photographed during the preparations time, so you need white shoes that by all means will be comfortable because just like me, you will be on your feet for 8-9 hours straight. Many brides bring white sneakers to the reception which is a smart idea.

If you are the same height as your spouse or a bit taller, you may want to keep the heels on the smaller size so that afterwards you will not be saying, “ if only I did so and so”. I am not telling you that your choice of your future spouse should be guided by this issue at all. I am simply saying that for variation it might be a good idea to be open minded to this option.

The Veil
The veil distinguishes you as a bride therefore I encourage my brides to keep the veil on for at least, until the cake cutting time. The veil should be sheer so that in case you decide to veil, your face will show through the veil in the photo. ( this is a beautiful image and I encourage my brides to veil if they do not mind doing so.) If you decide to use a blush, then it should be shoulder length, otherwise it simply does not look right. As for veils that are stuck in the back of the head under the bun, I do not care so much for this look because the veil is not functional. ON the other hand it is not a great idea to attach the veil to the top of your head especially if the veil is very fluffy and has multiple layers because then it does not rest correctly on your head. Also, during the ceremony it may cover most of your face so that in many profile photos the tip of your nose will be the only part of your face showing. To sum up, brides should pay more attention to the veil than they actually do because so many of the photos involve portraits and the suitability of the veil is even more central than the dress.

Makeup
Many Brides say that they do not like the idea of looking unnatural and definitely see their point. However, for photography it is important to accentuate your beautiful features via lines and colors. I am a great fan of more than just lip gloss but not to the extent of ending up with a plastered face.

Jewelry
This is also a blessing and again moderation and good taste are a key. I like to see a bride with a tiny elegant neck-less choker style, or a dainty diamond or diamond looking pendant right around the neck line, not too loose. As for pearls, although elegant, in my opinion they tend to make a woman look older.

Hair
One of the biggest dilemmas of the bride is how to wear her hair – up or down- . Most brides are concerned about wearing their hair down because it may freeze in the course of the activities of the day and it will then look untidy. I can see their concern. However, when you put your hair up you are more or less in a similar situation anyway. Many brides also say that ‘hair up’ is more elegant and I can see that too. My concern is simply about women who do not look good wearing their hair up.

Try a few hairstyles before the wedding with the veil and dress before the wedding and see how you like the total combination. Remember, a woman’s hair is her crown and you want to show it rather than hide it. If you still decide to wear your hair ‘up’ do not stretch it rather have it done in a loose tidy fashion. How about hair that is tied in a bun in the back, braided nicely rather than totally ‘up’? How about adding some nice flowers to this hairstyle? Whatever it is that you decide to do with your hair and makeup, definitely try it together with the veil and dress to see the complete look. Some brides have their hair all in curls ( the sexy look ) but too untidy for my taste.

Bridesmaids
Your choice of their dress color / style should be guided by how the photos will turn out. I personally do not like two piece color dresses. It just does not look right. One color is just fine. I will extend the same advice to the mothers – your dress can be composed of two pieces but it should be one solid color. As for the particular color of the bridesmaids dresses, it should be strong not pale, in order to accentuate the bride. I like all the various shades of red and black including charcoal. This does not mean that no other shades are acceptable but the color needs to be strong. Observe the colors of lady reporters on TV! They are almost always shades of red, simply because red looks good on camera. As for the bridesmaids help on your wedding day they need to understand that they are there for you and not the other way around. They need to help you rather than be absorbed with themselves. They are like honey bees around the flower, which is you, and so they need to assist you and when their wedding day comes along, you will be there for them.

Flowers
I have never seen flowers that I did not like. I will never forget that sweet bride, Kim, who made a nice bouquet of flowers from her own garden and believe me that looked so beautiful and it was meaningful, too. Like a present that you make yourself for someone that you care for rather than purchase in a store. However your batch should be colorful , not more pale than your bridesmaids’ and it should not be too big. I am referring to those bush like bouquets that sort of overflow out of their boundaries. The flower stems should be collected together at their ends and wrapped with material similar to the color of your dress.

Above all the most important factors to successful photos is your happy smiling face and your posture. I would encourage you all to go to the gym a few months before the wedding and exercise your arm muscles and your back posture. There are so many great exercises that can help you develop a nice straight posture. Some common sense exercises at home won’t hurt either. The only point is that you need a tremendous amount of discipline to get going on your own, while going to the gym forces you to move. As for tension on your wedding day it is very understandable that you may be excited and even nervous. You need to ‘think positive’ and assume the mindset of a princess or a queen, which may help you move past the moments of the ceremony into the relaxing phase……….The reception.

Truly yours,
Ilana Ben harav